Anatis November 7th, 2007
You know you live in California when…
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house.
2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive to your neighborhood block party.
6. Someone asks you how far away something is; you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
You know you live in New York when…
1. You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty.
3. You can get into a 4-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.
4. You think Central Park is “nature.”
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
6. You’ve worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
You know you live in Alaska when…
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup and tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction.
You know you live in the Deep South when…
1. You get a movie and bait in the same store.
2. “Ya’ll” is singular and “all ya’ll” is plural.
3. After fifteen years you still hear, “You ain’t from ’round here, are ya?”
4. “He needed killin’” is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names.
You know you live in Colorado when…
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, and he stops at the Day Care Center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail.
You know you live in the Midwest when…
1. You’ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: “Where’s my coat at?”
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, “It was different!”
You know you live in Florida when…
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind — even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
Okay I have to add to the bolded “You’ve worn out a car horn”.
The first time I went to NYC, we were being picked up by a friend to go to the Nu Joisey RWA thingymagig. Here I am - the dang foreigner - in the car with 5 Americans. One is driving. Another (native New Yorker) gives her instructions on how to get to the Jersey turnpike. A second Nu Yoiker entertains the “Limey” (!! I’m a KRAUT, thanks!) while the remaining two alternate entertaining me, or yelling out of car windows. Or something.
Mostly that.
“Use your horn!” says Mr. ‘I’ve lived here all my life I know where we’re going!’
“It’s broken!” our trusty driver replies, sounding somewhat frazzled.
Two New Yorkers stare at her, open mouthed, flabberghasted.
Finally one of them gasps: “Oh my GOD! How will we commuicate!”
(TRUE STORY!)
I thought that was hilarious - and proceeded to give directions. (”It’s thaddaway and then you take a sharp left when you get to thingy.”)
Tags: Directions, Driving
(I bet their world famous fruitcake can’t hold a candle to my Christmas Quark Stollen.)
Todays blog visit was to Annie’s Blog at 
